Wow, another epiphany!

Apparently there is much more to this thing than just the dream of living with the 'Lights' for an entire season! I was about to write a short note to a friend of mine as a little reminder, because he hadn't answered my last emails in quite a while (i had questions i had asked him). But i knew it would be silly to do, because he still wouldn't answer. He's just not online much any more. Which is a good thing, in my books actually, and something i aspire to. Actually NONE of my friends answer my emails much any more. I'm not complaining, mind you (*please friends, don't feel bad!*). I'm just commenting on the fact that they have busy social lives in the real world. And my social life is in the VIRTUAL world because i live on a little island (just off the coast of Vancouver) in the real world. So i don't seem to 'mesh' with my friends any more. It seems as if we're drifting apart. It's getting a bit too lonely here for my liking.

And that's where today's epiphany comes in! :-) If i move to Yellowknife, i have a chance to have a REAL life with REAL people in the REAL world! Living downtown in the thick of things... walking to everything... No need to be online hoping day after day to find communication and companionship any more! Of course i'd still write in this blog & on facebook... to keep in touch. But i'd hopefully have real-time friends too. Yet another fantasy could very well come to life! *crosses fingers*

I know i could take the ferry into the city to socialize, but.. it's just not the same as living there. I have to constantly bug people for a place to crash (OR get a motel room) if i want to do anything in the evening (the last ferry being 9:30 pm) and that can get embarrassing and expensive. Not to mention the ferry is really expensive as well!

Come to think of it, why can't i socialize here on my island? Well at this point in time, i actually can't answer that, because i don't  know why! Maybe it's because this island is my refuge away from the world. My sanctuary with a moat. I really do love that. We do have a couple of good friends here though... i really should foster that friendship.. they're good people. Maybe it would help. Geez. *shrug* I'll have to do more thinking on this.

OH, i shouldn't say that ALL of my friends have busy social lives. I do have one friend whose social life is as 'virtual' as mine is! And even though he's horrendously busy at work, he still magically finds time to write huge long emails to me pretty well every day... if i actually wrote to him, that is! Emails back and forth, back and forth... i loved it! But lately, i haven't been writing him. Since Murray & i got back from our month-long road trip recently, from Vancouver to Boston and back, i've been reading so much, obsessing about the possibility of this move, and trying to stay offline myself (i rather enjoyed being off that grid while on the road!), that i've been neglecting HIM! MY bad, and i apologize for that... (sorry Mark!) I'll have to write him today.

So, kudos to my friends who have busy lives! :-) Maybe i'll be able to join that world myself some day. Unfortunately, being stuck on this rock is not conducive to that becoming a reality... at least not in the sense that i'm wanting it to be. I would have to sell this house and move to Vancouver (or Victoria), and that can't happen. At least not for a while. Too much time, sweat & tears have been spent building this house. And Murray doesn't want to live in the city any more anyway. He works there all day and loves to ferry over to his calming rock in the Pacific.

So that's why Yellowknife is appealing to me too! Gets me to that real-time social place i'm yearning to be! Maybe i just need to scratch that itch for a year, and then come back to my reclusive life on my island. Hmmm. I guess we'll have to see just how itchy i am...


Sidenote: I had a dream last night that i got an apartment in Old Montreal! Another dream of mine. Just for the summer, mind you! With no 'Lights' to go with the snow, i could NOT handle Montreal in the winter! The apartment had double french doors to a New Orleans style balcony (oooo, New Orleans...) and it looked down into the busy street. I was SO excited to actually be living the dream... living in Vieux-Montréal! I guess i had that dream because in yesterday's blog post i asked about other hidden fantasies that i could make happen! :-)

Just a little epiphany...

Today i spent almost 2 hours to move less than 1/2 a kilometre. I was in line @ the Peace Arch Boarder Crossing on a “quickie” trip to Bellingham WA for a few cases of Cherry Coke Zero. On a Saturday. At noon. Good thing i enjoy the quiet company of my brain, because i had a LOT of time to think!

I LOVE to think! Think & plan & fantasize. And try to figure out WHY i think the way that i do and do the things that i think about. No surprise there. I’m female.

So while contemplating in that lineup, i had a minor epiphany. I figured out one of the reasons why this move appeals to me so much. It partially satisfies a very old “secret” fantasy of mine. To disappear off the face of the earth & start a new life somewhere else. Of course there will be no earth-face disappearing (i love my family & friends too much to do that). But it does kind of fulfill the rest of the fantasy... if only for a year or two! Now THAT was something i never thought could ever happen! I like it when fantasies come true!

Hmmm... Now what other hidden fantasies can i make happen...